Between the Sling & The Banister: The Female Gaze in Contemporary Society

“My Saturn has returned… When I turned 27 everything started to change” Kacey Musgraves gently sings in her 2024 album Deeper Well. But it is not only Musgraves that discusses this phenomenon. Singers like Sza, Ariana Grande, and Adele have all written about this orbital return. What does it even mean? A saturn return is when the planet returns to the same place it was when you were born. One's first saturn return is often between ages 27 to 30, yielding a period of personal growth, self reflection, and the prospect of changing the course or direction of one's life. During the Covid-19 lockdown, the confinement of daily life created a unique space for women to reflect on domesticity, ambition, and femininity, a phenomenon reflected in contemporary music and social media propaganda. Artists such as Clairo in Sling, Lana Del Rey in Blue Banisters, and Kacey Musgraves in Deeper Well explored themes of introspection, independence, and motherhood. The pandemic set a precedent for an immense rise in inequalities, but at the same time there has been a newfound popularity in domestic activities such as crafting, sewing, and baking, and an increase in what can be considered as traditionally feminine. These nostalgic femininities have begun trending on social media platforms, with the arrival of  the ‘trad wife’ movement which rejects the worldview of modern feminism and instead proposes that a woman's pursuit of happiness relies on achieving an “ideal” femininity and domestic submission. The Saturn Return symbolizes a confrontation with maturity, responsibility, and self-truth amid an era of global crisis, isolation, and ideological polarization. In the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, shifting notions of domesticity gave rise to the resurgence of “trad wife” rhetoric and nostalgic femininities, while simultaneously inspiring artistic and spiritual self-reflection, embodied in the symbolism of the Saturn return and renewed activism around women’s bodily autonomy. Ultimately, this cultural reckoning drives women to resist patriarchal structures, particularly under a renewed Trump presidency that seeks to confine women within traditional, domesticated ideals. By examining the intersection of art, social media, and politics, we can better understand how women continue to redefine femininity, reclaim autonomy, and transform nostalgia into a catalyst for the next wave of feminist resistance.

It was summer of 2023 when I stumbled upon Clairo's ‘Sling’ in which she reflects upon making poor decisions in her 20s,  introspectively considering the prospect of motherhood. It was at a time when I was struggling with my own personal issues surrounding identity, my health, and reaching the end of my adolescence. As a society we had just left the Covid-19 era, and everyone was in recovery. Recovery and renewal, from losing family members, to the burdens of solitary confinement. Listening to Clairo’s Zinnias the lyric, “I could wake up with a baby in a sling… just a couple doors down from Abigail… My sister, man, and her ring… Quietly, I’m tempted… Sure sounds nice to settle down for a while,” set a precedent for me to consider something entirely new. Domesticity. Claire Cottril, otherwise known as Clairo, was my first encounter with his concept of staying indoors, embracing feminine activities, and questioning the prospect of your existence entirely. In her Rolling Stone article, Clairo intimately shares that her life had been moving so fast that quarantine was her first opportunity to slow down, that she finally had time to spend with her family. This time of confinement prompted  an introspective questioning of whether Cottrill wanted to continue her career at all. She shares that this period of time she was able to connect with her Mother and perhaps embrace the prospect of motherhood. In her song Wade she sings, “No use in work…No use in anything,” referring to her own struggles with finding a purpose. Retreating to domestic life gave Cottrill a new perspective on her life, it was healing, but also universal. There would come a day that I too would question if I want to have a child of my own.

In Lana Del Rey’s 2021 album Blue Banisters she sings, “here's something in the air…The girls are running 'round in summer dresses…With their masks off, and it makes me so happy…Larchmont Village smells like lilies of the valley…And the bookstore doors are opening...And it's finally happening.” Rey reflects upon the lift of pandemic restrictions and her gratitude for a renewed sense of normal in a period of unprecedented grief and isolation. Rey’s song Violets To Roses’ chorus, “You made me change my violets for roses,” symbolizes the sacrifice of oneself to conform to the expectations of a partner. To Rey, violets represent independence, youth, and individuality. Roses are conventional, emphasizing heteronormative expectation of conformity. Lana Del Rey sings in a breathy tone for the entity of the piece, as if she is grieving. Her purposefully soft voice works as representation of many women's loss of individuality within relationships, but further an act of reclamation and uprising against patriarchal norms. Blue Banisters album cover depicts Rey sitting on a porch in front of a white wooden house, wearing a sundress. She faces directly as the view is unsmiling, but calm. The home exterior parallels previously examined concepts of domestic stability and introspection. Her dress, a simplistic soft yellow, evokes feelings of nostalgia and warmth. The album title Blue Banisters is a simplistic representation of the album's deeply universal themes. A banister, as placed on houses, is something you hold onto to support, while blue represents grief and emotional burden. Domestic life is nearly always tied to a man, but Rey is the only figure in her album cover. 

Although Lana Del Rey candidly writes about feeling confined in romantic relationships, those heteronormative experiences do not shape her album, it simply is a part of her story. Lana Del Rey’s Blue Banisters nuances domesticity, reclaiming traditionally feminine actions as a way of self growth. It is time we recognize that women and traditionally feminine actions do not always have to be the product of a man's expectations. In harmony, Blue Banisters translate to the structures that support one's self, even in grief. Lana Del Rey’s Blue Banisters signifies a homecoming, her home becomes a place of power not oppression. In redefining what domesticity means to her, Rey challenges the idealization of “woman at home.” In other words, what society dismisses as trivial, becomes the emotional center of her world.

In contemporary America, the rise of the traditional wife  aesthetic reflects more than social media trends; it mirrors the nation’s oppressive political climate. At its core, this movement embodies a broader return to conservative ideals that gained renewed traction during the Trump era. The rise of Trump, not only as a political figure but as a brand, has fueled the glorification of the submissive, domestic woman as a symbol of moral stability and national identity. In March of 2024, Alabama Senator Katie Britt delivered her State of The Union address. Her remarks focused on border security, immigration, and the economy. But her address did not take place in the Senate Chamber or a formal podium but in a kitchen setting. On her neck, a bright and shiny cross. Britt’s address statement stood as a representation of MAGA republicans ideal woman. White, Christian, in a kitchen, addressing the nation as if we were her children. This statement of Christian Nationalism intersects purity, domesticity, and religious virtue, but further dictates the confines of feminine binary. In other words, it exhibits the way in which MAGA republicans believe women should act: nurturing, submissive, gentle. Such nationalized propaganda set a precedent for women to mimic the traits of the ideal republican christian women. 2022’s overturning of Roe v. Wade erupted a new movement of women surrounding women’s rights and autonomy. Anti-abortion rhetoric often draws on Christian nationalist ideology, framing motherhood as sacred duty and linking femininity to moral virtue. Trad-wife propaganda functions as a cultural reinforcement of the  Christian ideology driving the anti-Roe movement, affirming post-Roe conservatism, and making patriarchal values appear desirable rather than oppressive. 

Creators like Nara Smith have blown up across platforms like Instagram and Tik Tok. Her “made from scratch” meals have inspired thousands to try that lifestyle themselves. She is recognized as the ideal wife and mother.  Smith is often wearing ostentatious gowns while cooking. Perfect lightning, hair and makeup while rolling pieces of bubble gum for her three children, it is a performance. Her wardrobe in itself blends seamlessly into the contemporary trends of many ‘trad’ wives’ online. Gingham prints, milkmaid dresses, ballooned rompers, styles which reflect idealistic and hypersexualized perception of women. Smith’s choice to consistently wear variations of milkmaid dresses invokes nostalgia for the 1950s post-war period, where women were predominantly situated within the home. Furthermore, Smith is known for her speaking voice which is always a soft whisper. This performance reinstates nostalgic elements in a modern setting, further underscoring Smith’s brand of femininity, which values traditional domesticity, as a contemporary trend. In addition, Nara Smith always speaks directly to her audience, sharing knowledge and inviting viewers to aspire to her housewife aesthetic. Traditional wife rhetoric as perpetuated by Nara Smith reinforces the binary between what is understood as masculine versus feminine, claiming acts like cooking as a feminine pursuit.  Creators like Smith may not seem particularly problematic to the naked eye, but her glorification of the housewife has produced a moralized image of womanhood that revolves around the satisfaction of men, affirming patriarchal expectations. 

The rise of nostalgic femininities and the traditional wife movement elucidates a nation divided by a longing for the familiarity of traditional womanhood and a growing desire for liberation through autonomy and self-definition. Furthermore, the Covid-19 pandemic, forced women into spaces of introspection, revealing both the comfort and confinement of domestic life. As artists like Lana Del Rey, Kacey Musgraves, and Clairo transformed this reflection into art, conservative leaders and social media creators claimed the same aesthetic as a moral ideal affirmed through political rhetoric, redefining femininity into a performance of submission. These opposing ideals, one defined by spirituality and independence, the other political and oppressive. “Trad wife” propaganda affirmed by MAGA-era nationalism and Post-Roe conservatism, works to frame patriarchy as aspirational. Yet this same cultural movement drives resistance. Women are reclaiming narrative power, mobilizing through art, activism, and collective self-awareness. Like the Saturn Return, working as a symbol of rebirth and reckoning, demonstrates the way in which crisis precedents transformation. It is time to reassess our understanding of the domestic space. Drawing from Lana Del Rey’s Blue Banisters, domestic life healed her. With Clairo, it was a chance for her to reflect and renew her creativity. Domesticity and traditional wife rhetoric may intersect but they deviate in one crucial aspect. Traditional wife rhetoric is nearly always perpetuated by a man's expectation of his wife —Whereas domesticity in essence remains ambiguous. Much of traditional feminine actions are often defined by masculine expectations, a driving product of our nation's contagious patriarchy. But it is necessary we think critically and understand the contrast between a woman's choice for domestic life versus or a man perpetuating this lifestyle. Much of this rhetoric has become simplified to two terms, male gaze versus female gaze. It can be understood that consenting domesticity can be defined as female gaze whereas traditional wife as male gaze. This critical lens not only nuances, but complicates the binary between traditional feminine actions. In contemporary society, with our current political government which actively works to condemn feminist rhetoric, we need critical feminist lenses more than ever. The domestic space can no longer serve as a stage for submission, but a site of renewal. This is not a revival of tradition, but a reclamation.